Day #4 kicking my booty butt, NO ENERGY! ~By: Steph

Hi Friends.  I feel as though I’ve been trapped on a dessert island with no water, no food that tastes good, and a thousand screaming kids.  I mean you know it’s going to be a good daycare day when, it starts with vomiting, and ends with a power outage.  Do you feel my pain??? Come on. I AM NOT just being whiney and carby crabby. Okay, all in all it wasn’t a bad day and I’m feeling pretty good about my ability to reset right now.  It’s just more fun to whine about things some days.  Ask my kids!

I am on day #4 of kicking the added sugars and empty carbs.  I only need about 8 more days like this to assure myself that I’m in control of the Carb Monster.  He’s scary and follows me around trying to shove toast in my mouth.  Ooohhh, toast with cinnamon and sugar!  Ugh, I must stop giving the Carb Monster any ideas!

Anyhow, I just thought I’d post a sample of what a good day looks like for me.  Remember I am a sleever and I’m 4 years out.  My portions aren’t huge but, they aren’t teensy either. I definitely embrace the idea of cocktail forks and appetizer plates to keep my eyes from telling my brain that I need more food. If I find something I really enjoy, I will keep going back to it for several days. Then one day I will look at it and think, “No way am I going to eat this again!”  My lunch and breakfast are often the same all week. I am all for carbs from natural sources; dairy, nuts, fruit, veggies, legumes, etc.

Day #1

B- (not pictured) 1 scrambled egg, 1 oz steak and salsa.

L- Turkey rolled up with a Laughing Cow light wedge, 1 stalk of celery, 1 TBL Jalapeno artichoke dip, and 3 grape tomatoes.

S- 1/2 cup watermelon.

D- 3 oz chicken, 1/2 oz cheddar, 1/2 slice thin cut bacon, 5 grape tomatoes, and 1 cup of lettuce, with 1 TBL light ranch.

S- Frozen, PBfit & Triple Zero Greek yogurt bites.

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Day #2

B- Iced Protein Coffee.

L- Celery stalk with Jalapeno Artichoke dip, 2 slices turkey breast rolled up with a Laughing Cow light wedge, 5 blackberries.

S- Leftover salad with 2 oz grilled chicken.

D- Taco salad; 2.5 oz 9% ground beef, 1/2 oz cheddar, tomato, green onion, 1 cup lettuce, 1 TBL light sour cream mixed with Spicy Ranch seasoning.

S- More PBfit/Triple Zero, frozen bites.

This is the day I totally caved and had a TBL of creamy peanut butter right before bed 😦

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Day #3

B- Iced Protein Coffee.

L- Leftover taco salad.

S- Celery, dip, blackberries, turkey, Laughing Cow light wedge and a few pepperoni chips (1/2 svg Hormel Turkey Pepperoni laid out on a paper towel and microwaved 45 seconds).  This was the day I was super snacky and nibbled on this plate throughout the whole day.

D- Sundried tomato pesto chicken breast with 1 oz part skim mozzarella, and 1/3 an ear of corn on the cob.

S- 1/2 container Triple Zero Greek yogurt, 1 TBL PBfit, and 1 tsp Hershey’s sf syrup, frozen in a little Dixie cup.

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Day #4

B- Protein Iced Coffee.

L- Turkey sandwich made on lengthwise slices of cucumber and rolled up like a sushi roll.

S- About 6 homemade sugar free Japanese style pickled cucumbers.

D- No noodle zucchini lasagna made with 9% ground beef, low fat ricotta, part skim mozzarella, mushrooms, spinach, onions, garlic, and low sugar marinara.

S- Triple Zero peach yogurt.

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I’m satisfied with the changes I’ve made this week and the fact that I’m staying on the right track, with my eating.  I would like to go roll around in the leftover garlic bread from last night’s dinner but…I guess that might rub some carbs off on me.  I would like to eat some crackers so that this headache would go away.  More than both of those things, I’d like to continue being healthy and liking myself a bit more than I used to. 😉

Completely off topic here…You know you’ve been married a while and you’re just generally a bit too weird when you announce, “I am the Getting Rid of Kids Ninja, fear me!  Daycare kids gone. Our kids not in the room.  Bwahahahaha.” and you get absolutely no reaction from your husband as he stares at his phone. Is he now numb to my infinite charm and wit?  Naw…couldn’t be!

Hugs and good choices to you all!

 

 

 

 

Carbs? Who needs em? ~By: Steph

20160614_094639This is me enjoying my protein iced coffee. Yummy, better than any toast or crackers. Carbs, who needs carbs?  Not me.  I do daycare.  No stress eating there. Easy peasy. See…I didn’t get struck by lightening! Also, remind me not to drink in public.  Does my forehead always wrinkle up like that when I drink??? Why has this never been pointed out to me before.

Okay, I love my job.  I love my kiddos.  They make me laugh, keep me on my toes, drive me crazy and at times exhaust me.  Making meals for mini noise makers and serving up snacks, is tough when you’re trying to eat right and not graze.  Maybe if I fed them seafood, liver, lima beans, and canned peas, I wouldn’t be tempted to sample a bite or two. I totally see the kids responding well to that menu. Anyhow, today, that is my struggle.  I’m not hungry, I’m truly not.  I just want to eat.  Instead here I am blogging during naptime to keep myself from messing up my day!

Have you ever noticed that your kids push your limits right when you are on the brink of snapping?  The second day without carbs is definitely NOT the morning to push your mother!  Kids got up this morning, ran on time, left for their summer program. Then 5 mins. later I get the call. My son is asking me to load the daycare kids up and bring him his glasses that he forgot.  My response was, “I can’t I have kids here and 2 more on the way.  I need to be home for drop offs.” I was calm. I was nice.  I told him that they could walk back and grab them since he was still close to home.  Yeah. Then he did it.  “Thanks Mom, never mind I guess I don’t need them even though I can’t see anything in class without them.”, was his response. Right before he hung up on me.  Whew…deep calming breaths.  Who pays for the phone you just hung up on me with? Who do you think you are being a smart@$$ with me when I am not the one who left their glasses at home?  Where are you going to live when I kick your little butt out?  Let’s hear you say, “never mind I guess I don’t need them”, when I set all your video games on fire with a can of Aqua Net and a bbq lighter! Hmm…I think I was justified in my irritation.  Maybe, maybe not.  However, I also may have been a tad more fired up than I would have been if I’d had a mouthful of crackers.  By the way, he’s grounded from his phone until he learns to be respectful on it. Don’t fear, no bonfires and homeless son. GOOOOO MOM.  Wait, am I the only one cheering for myself?  Oh well.  His sister will think it’s a great plan.  Usually it’s her that’s grounded. My little angels.

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Yesterday went really well.  I ate healthy and made good choices.  Scrambled egg and a small piece (about an ounce) of steak for breakfast. Celery, jalapeno artichoke dip, grape tomatoes, and turkey for lunch. 1/2 cup of watermelon for snack.  Grilled chicken salad for dinner. Frozen PbFit and banana Triple Zero bites for evening snack. 16 cups of water to round out the day.

Still trying to decide on a dinner tonight but, 2 protein coffee shakes, the rest of my salad from last nights dinner, some watermelon and maybe another yogurt later, are on today’s menu.

20160614_075805Day 3 is usually my rough day when I’m kicking the empty carbs.  Wish me luck tomorrow.  If you pray, I’d appreciate a prayer for strength.  I know this sounds awful but, I’m dreading Bible study on Thursday.  They always include a dessert.  I’m usually good and bring my own low carb dessert.  I’m not even in a good spot for a low carb, sugar free, dessert at this point.  I need a couple of weeks without that type of food before I can reintroduce healthier versions of them.

I suppose I should go eat my salad while these kiddos are sleeping.  If I don’t I’ll be holding babies while trying to shove lettuce in my mouth, while they try to snatch it out!

Hugs to you all and here’s to fresh starts and people who understand.

 

 

 

 

 

Hard Times? Yep…I’m back again. ~By: Steph

 

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I hate that I come back here when I’m struggling.  I guess this blog is my subconscious pep talk. Today is day one of back on the wagon.  Repeat after me…Stephanie Kathleen, empty carbs ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND!  Thanks, I feel duly chastised.  I let them sneak in when my emotions are running high and they make me feel loved. Really?  Is that how I feel loved?  I have a Savior who died for me, a husband who honestly values me more than I often value myself, children who love me so much that they drive me insane…er…insaner???…that could be a word, a family who loves me and friends I can turn to.  Nope, every time I try to keep it all locked up and feed it carbs to keep it quiet.  The thing is, when that momentary emotional breakdown passes…I still keep eating carbs!

So, here I am once again telling you I screwed up and now I’m trying to make it all go away.  You don’t see that pile of nonsense I swept under the rug, do you?  The thing is, as well as I can put on the, “Nothings wrong here, nothing to see here, move along.” face.  That pile of nonsense is still there. The evidence is on the scale. Well the evidence is more on my thighs and tummy but, you catch my drift.  You can’t eat crappy foods and graze all day without consequences.  In this case, the consequences are 10 lbs I don’t want to hang out with.

I suppose the reason I keep coming back here to blog my failures, is to celebrate.  Why? Who celebrates their failures?  Me I guess.  If I’m back here blogging through my struggle, that means that I haven’t given in.  I haven’t thrown in the towel. I am determined to persevere and change my situation.  The day I decide to stop coming, “back again” and admitting my mistakes as I dust myself off, is the day I quit trying.  I pray that day never comes.  Maybe some of you will get tired of reading.  Maybe you will think, here we go again. Maybe that’s not what matters to me.  Maybe I do this so that I can help not only myself get back to my plan but, help the other people who have fallen and want to pick themselves up.  I know how alone you can feel and how you can be so abusive in your thoughts about yourself that you can’t fathom why anyone else values you at all.  You’re never alone.  My first stop is always God, then the people I’m closest to, and then it’s you.  Whoever may be reading this and needing to push through a hard moment will know that we have to keep fighting the fight, one day at a time.

It is 12:03 on day one, I am already sick of protein.  I want a damn cracker!  Hmm…have I mentioned I am crabby when I go off of carbs?  I know you’d never guess from my cheery typing. I have had egg, meat and then some more meat so far.  Looking forward to dinner.  I am making a, Chicken Bacon Ranch Salad.  I will use Greek yogurt with my ranch mix.  Grilled chicken breast, 1/2 slice of crumbled bacon, the big red tomato from my garden (I’m so excited!), a quarter of an avocado, and some lettuce and onion.  I love the idea of the lettuce, tomato and avocado.  I seriously can’t wait for them. I guess I CAN wait but, I don’t wanna. I also promise to be good and eat the chicken first. No really, pinkie swear!

I am currently on my third, 32 oz. cup of water today.  That is another thing I let slide when I’m eating poorly. I mean come on…if I filled up by drinking all of my water, where would my crackers go?  Just an FYI, Wheat Thins are a delicious, evil, member of the carb family. They seem sweet and innocent but, don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

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Isn’t she lovely? That’s a bad picture, it’s not her good side, the lighting was wrong, but, she’s absolutely perfect!!!

The weirdest thing about my “falling off the wagon” is that I LOVE healthy, fresh, foods.  I don’t know why I turn to packaged junk when I feel bad. I make delicious and healthy meals all of the time.  I love to experiment and find ways to lighten up dishes.  However, when I’m in carb mode I don’t even want to cook.

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Chicken “Nachos”

A couple of examples of things I have made lately. Chicken Nachos; 1 pound  grilled chunks of chicken breast with a chile spiced rub, 2 slices of crumbled bacon, 2 oz. of shredded sharp cheddar/Monterey Jack cheese, baked butternut squash cubes with a spice rub, and some green onion.  That was enough food for my husband and I to eat 2 meals.

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BBQ stuffed meatball and Caprese Salad in a steamed zucchini boat.

Simple half chicken, half lean beef meatballs basted with sf bbq sauce stuffed with a 1/4 oz cube of mozzarella cheese and wrapped in 1/3 slice of bacon, then baked.  Fresh mozz., grape tomatoes from the garden, fresh basil, and a little balsamic, served inside of a hallowed out and steamed zucchini half. 2 pounds of meat made 16 meatballs.

 

I am perfectly capable of feeding myself properly.  Why don’t I?

Hmm, I do want to point out that those meals were made weeks apart.  I don’t use bacon in every meal I prepare.  Says the lady making Chicken Bacon Ranch Salad, for dinner. 🙂

I end this with a plea to anyone who reads this.  This weekend there was a mass shooting in Florida.  No matter what your beliefs are, what your political affiliation, how you feel about people’s lifestyle choices, please be kind.  I have seen some of the ugliest and most hate filled rants on social media the past 24 hours. When did we become a country full of people who only feel compassion for others, IF THEY SHARE OUR BELIEFS?  It used to be, if you saw someone hurting you hurt for them, you didn’t judge them and spew your ugly hatred.  As a Christian I am so saddened that some of the hate flowing is being touted as, “in the name of God”.  Please realize that just because, some small sect is twisting God’s Word, are louder and more public, that doesn’t mean they speak for the majority. My heart hurts for those who lost partners, sons, daughters, friends, and loved ones.  My prayers are with them. Division will only make the wounds deeper.  If you pray, then please pray for those who are hurting and in need of comfort today.

Chile Verde…yum ~By: Steph

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Chile Verde, only healthy carbs

Last Friday at the supermarket, I decided I was buying tomatillos.  I have never even unwrapped a tomatillo before.  I knew they went into homemade chile verde sauce.  Yep there’s my expertise in a tomatillo husk. Is it called a husk? Hmm…

I realized on Tuesday that I had forgotten about the tomatillos and they were going to end up going to dead vegetable land. More commonly known around these parts as, the trash bin.  Alas, many a vegetable has met this terrible fate in my home.  I decided to stop the madness and do something with these little green, wrinkle wrapped thingys. I went to…wait for it…Pinterest, and found a recipe that sounded pretty yummy/pretty easy (once again…I do not really follow recipes as much as I look at them to see what should go into something.) and I got to work.

Tomatillos are sticky little suckers under that covering.  It was weird and I got great satisfaction at washing their stickiness away before quartering them.  I threw the tomatillos, some chunked up green peppers (yep, chunked up), a couple of halved jalapenos, a rough chopped onion, and an entire head of peeled garlic, on a baking sheet.  Coated everything in roasted garlic olive oil and seasoned with chipotle chile powder, salt, pepper, and cumin.  Took about 15 mins to prep and get into the oven.  I roasted this until the house smelled phenomenal…that means about an hour.  They were so pretty but, I forgot to take a picture of their slightly charred gorgeousness.

After the veggies cooled down a bit I threw them into my Cuisinart with about 1/2 cup of chicken stock and 1 cup of cilantro leaves.  Whirled it until it looked Chile Verde sauce-ish and set it aside.  It was at this point when I realized it made enough for two recipes.  I threw half into a jar to be popped into the freezer.  After it got it’s picture taken, of course!

I cubed up a pork tip roast that I had quick thawed in a pan of water, while the veggies roasted.  They are very lean and I definitely prefer them with some kind of sauce to keep them moist. I seasoned the cubed roast up and popped it into a hot cast iron skillet to brown up. I contemplated throwing the meal into my slow cooker. Which is where I usually make my cheater chile verde with the jarred salsa and canned green sauce.  I thought better of using the slow cooker when I realized it was already after 12:45 and I wasn’t positive the meat would get tender enough before dinner.  I almost put it all away to make the next day and then GENIUS STRUCK.  Okay not really but, I did remember that I had some of those Reynold’s oven bags in the drawer.  I grabbed one out, added the meat, covered it with the sauce, sealed it up, stabbed the bag a couple of times so the steam could escape, and cooked it at 325 for about 2 1/2 hours.  The result was a really ugly looking bag that sort of scared me when I opened the oven. That’s why I included it in the picture.  I was totally convinced I had cooked dinner into an incinerated oblivion.

When I opened the bag up, there was bubbly, green, deliciousness! That’s not a phrase you use often.  I was totally ready to mash up some pinto beans and chow down for dinner that night.  NOPE, Big Guy had an errand to run so I went with him.  Ended up eating the kids meal of grilled chicken nuggets and fruit salad at Chik-fil-a. I LOVE that place.

Wednesday I made some Mexican riced cauliflower.  It was pretty delicious yet, still cauliflower and not rice.  I am not going to lie and say I like it as well as carby, delicious, rice but, I do think it was a nice substitute.   Mashed up and seasoned some pinto beans for fat free “refried” beans. Shredded up a little lettuce and diced a tomato because, I like the fresh crispness with Mexican food. Warmed up the Chile Verde in the oven and ta-da dinner!

I’d say that I spent about 40 mins of prep time on the meal.  There was a lot of waiting patiently (I’m so very good at that…) for the oven.  The end result was definitely worth the time it took.

Healthy carbs, veggies, lean pork, homemade sauce, and some new favorites.  I call this meal a win.

Everyone ate this meal except for My Monster Boy. Well, The Bee didn’t eat the cauli rice.  As I have said before, my son would think I was trying to kill him if I served him something other than pizza with any kind of sauce on it.  Took out a Flatout, coated it very lightly with Ranch dressing, threw on a bit of shredded cheese, and added some turkey pepperoni (shh…don’t tell him), and put it in the toaster over until it was crisp and melty.  That and a bowl of fresh fruit with some cucumber spears, and he was a happy kid with a fairly healthy meal. I love that he enjoys Flatout’s and they have great fiber and protein.

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For my wls friends, I know this looks like a lot of food. I am very near, 4 years out of surgery and can eat a decent portion of food.  This is a salad plate with 2 TBL of beans, 1/4 cup of cauli. rice, 3 oz. of chile verde, and maybe a quarter cup of lettuce with 3 pieces of diced tomato on top. There isn’t even a TBL of cheese on top of the meat.  Maybe 1 1/2 cups of food total. The lettuce and cauli. rice don’t really take up a lot of space for me.  If this plate contained all solid foods, I could do about a cup.  If this plate was a bag of popcorn, chips, cookies, or something else carby and easily digested, I could unfortunately probably do closer to 50 cups.  Okay that may be an exaggeration but, I can do way more of something that breaks down easily like those off limit foods. That is why they are off limit foods for me.


P.S.  I like to grab a few head of cauliflower at the store, and forget them in the fridge until I panic about them going bad.  Then and only then do I drag out the food processer and make cauliflower rice.  I never actually want to use it that night because, honestly I hadn’t planned on using it that night and only touched it because, I was afraid I’d have to throw it away if I waited any longer. So it gets bagged up and put into the freezer for when I actually do want to use it and have absolutely no fresh cauliflower in the house.

 

Chicken, Broccoli & Mushroom Alfredo

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My serving of Alfredo-ish stuff. My cute little appetizer plate and my new cocktail fork. It’s itty-bitty and adorable!

Healthy and delicious meals, don’t have to be relegated to nights when we have hours to spend in the kitchen.  Today during the daycare kids naptime I threw together dinner for myself and the family. Cubed up some boneless skinless chicken thighs.    Seasoned them up and Sautéed them in a tiny bit of roasted garlic olive oil.  Set the chicken aside. Made florets out of a couple crowns of broccoli.  I have to say that I love the Ziplock steam bags.  I sprinkled the florets with a touch of kosher salt and popped them in the bag.  Microwaved them for 4 mins and shocked them in ice water to keep the color and stop the cooking. Grabbed some cremini mushrooms and sautéed them in the pan from the chicken. Grabbed a jar of Alfredo sauce from the pantry. Okay yes, I skipped making my own sauce today.  I was lazy and in a hurry, those kids don’t sleep forever!  That’s it, combined about 2 svgs of sauce with two cups of the cubed chicken,  3 cups of broccoli and the mushrooms. (I used the sauce sparingly, I didn’t want to Swan dive into a vat of sauce. I just wanted to add a little moisture and flavor to the other ingredients.)  Seasoned it well and ta-da. Dinner for Big Guy and myself plus, my lunches for the week.

The girls had the rest of the sauce,  chicken thighs, and broccoli, combined with some Protein Plus pasta. WHAT??? They didn’t even complain! That happens…never.

The boy will have a chicken thigh with steamed broccoli, fresh pineapple & kiwi for his sides. NO SAUCE…he’d think I was trying to kill him. I know he’ll happily gobble his meal up because one, he likes everything on the plate. Two, he has no other choice for dinner. Three, he will be STARVING when he gets in from playing with his friends. The stars are aligned in my favor!!!

Everyone will eat roughly the same meal.  I was able to prepare it all at once and it was healthy 🙂

Sometimes we over think and make things harder than they have to be. Not me…but, some of you probably do.  I’m never an overthinker-ish kind of gal.  No…I did not just get struck by lightening!  Anyway, simple is really tasty and well,  SIMPLE.  I cooked from the freezer, pantry, and fridge.  No need to run to the store.

Update..Big Guy ate while he was prepping his lunches for the week.   So much for the whole family eating roughly the same meal.  Oh well,  it almost happened!

 

 

Fajitas and Zoodles and Salad, oh my! ~By: Steph

Well, I have made it to Wednesday and not killed anyone.  Laying off of the unhealthy carbs kind of makes me feel murderous…I mean less than Mary Sunshine. This shall pass and hopefully my family will survive my mood swings and they in turn do not lock me in a closet. Personally I think mood swings are awesome. My lucky husband gets a new wife each time he walks in the door. SURPRISE, BIG GUY! At least I’m not boring to live with. Hmm…anyhow, let’s move on 😉

I’m in the zone.  Not sure exactly what zone.  I am using our pantry, freezer, and fridge like a pro. Saturday’s leftover grilled steaks became, Monday’s fajitas with fresh peppers, onions, and homemade mango salsa. Wish I’d snapped a photo of it.  It was a very colorful and pretty dish.

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Zoodles w/meatballs & sauce.

Tuesday I grabbed a container of 7% ground beef/hot Italian chicken sausage meatballs and sauce out of the freezer.  Meatballs are one of my favorite foods to make. (I used to make them with 1/2 ground turkey and 1/2 lean ground beef.  I love the chicken so much more.  It has great flavor and the texture is nicer than ground turkey.) As my friend Becky would say, “SQUIRREL!” I got sidetracked with the meatballs and forgot to mention what I made with them.  I zoodlefied (yep that’s the word I’m stickin’ with.) some zucchini, julienned red pepper/onion, sautéed them with cooking spray and seasonings, then set aside.  Added a bit of garlic infused olive oil and mushrooms to the pan and sautéed until golden.  Mixed it all together, added a couple of meatballs and sauce on top. This =’d YUMMINESS.

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Taco salad with mango salsa.

Today’s meal was the leftover mango salsa over a taco salad.  My carby indulgence besides the salsa, was black beans cooked in chicken stock, with chile, cumin and onion. They were delicious on a plain little taco salad.

Simple meals, using up what’s on hand and keeping on track.  I’ve been setting aside a portion of dinner for the next day’s lunch. Making a protein shake for breakfast. Reduced fat cheese, fruit, a slice of lunchmeat, etc have been my snacks. Yay for 3 days of good choices!

Oh, I have to mention how much I love my little appetizer plates and bowls.  I have several different ones and I love eating off of something pretty 🙂 I think my next purchase is going to be little cocktail forks. It feels weird using a fork bigger than the plate.  Using bigger plates leads me to pushing past my limit. In my head I’m still a clean your plate, kinda gal.

Trying to stay accountable and lay it all out here.  It’s a struggle to reset your eating but, we have to value ourselves enough to do it.  There’s no, “good reason”, to knowingly make frequent unhealthy choices.  We can blame our circumstances but, that won’t change anything.   We have to work for what we need. That’s what I’m once again deciding to do.

 

Honesty Sucks Sometimes ~By:Steph

Reset

I think I have “reset” myself on this journey about 5016 times…this month. Okay maybe these past 4 years.  I am happy with the fact that I do indeed have the desire and the drive to reset.  I am grateful for the strength I find in the Lord, to not just chuck everything and dive into a carb filled pool of deliciousness for the rest of my life.  Sometimes I even entertain the thought of just giving up and eating what I want and quitting the healthy rollercoaster ride.  Just when I feel like I’ve got things under control and I have changed my thinking and relationship with food, ABRACADABRA…something happens.  I know this is something I need to figure out and I’m honestly trying.

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I definitely have always had issues with depression and anxiety.  I take medication and feel okay most of the time.  Prayer has helped immensely with this struggle.  I think that if I am going to blog, I have to blog the good and the bad.  I have to share my HONEST experience not just the healthy recipes and victories. So here goes, I fell off the wagon.  Actually, I think the wagon jerked to a stop, slung me out in front of it and then ran over me. Do wagons have reverse? If so, I may have been backed over too.  I had a family member diagnosed with cancer…again.  I thought I handled it well.  I prayed, I focused on the positive, I said all of the right things to myself.  However, on the inside I think, it hit me harder.  It brought up thoughts of another family member’s diagnosis last year, and all of the emotions of that time. Depression lessens my will to resist carbs.  For the past several weeks I have been indulging in things I hadn’t eaten in months. Things I know better than eating.  I pushed through the dumping and got to the point where sugar didn’t get to me or at least I didn’t physically feel awful when I ate it.

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On Saturday night, I realized I was really struggling. I gave myself a pep talk, I prayed and decided I had to fix this.  On Sunday I heard the best possible message preached for my state of mind.  So, guess what?  RESET…again.  Yesterday went pretty well. Today is more of a struggle but, I’m doing fine.  I do admit though, I am craving those foods I am pushing out. I know that if I can get through a couple of weeks, the worn out, headachey (yep headachey), feelings of withdrawl and cravings will go away.  I just need to actually DO THIS for 2 weeks.  I think that now that I am fully aware of what was in the back of my mind and focused on it, I will be okay.  If not, I’ll be honest about that too.

That was the bad news.  The good news is I know that my God is bigger than the problems in my head.  The other good news is that my Big Guy and I actually were able to go on a very unexpected mini getaway weekend before last.  Left Saturday morning and came home Monday afternoon.  We hit a lot of coastal towns in that short time frame. It was our first getaway without the kids in 2 years. We were in need of a little couple time.  We had beautiful weather, gorgeous beaches, antique shops (yes, I’m 80 yrs old at heart), time to relax together and reconnect.  Despite my humidty hair, it was an amazing weekend that almost didn’t happen.  First I didn’t want to ask for time off on such short notice.  Then we didn’t know what to do with the kids.  Thank you to my Noodle for being an awesome big sister and watching the Bee and the Monster Boy for us.  Last, it was our month to serve as greeter’s at church so I felt super guilty calling people last minute and asking them to cover us.  It all worked out and we had the help of some really gracious people who encouraged us to go and enjoy ourselves.

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JoeStephVacation

I’ll end it with this, I’m grateful that I have an amazing Big Guy who supports me and encourages me.  I have good friends who care and listen when I need to be insane for a moment.  I have healthy, amazing, pain in the rear, kids who I love to pieces. I have a family who are a blessing. I have a God who makes ALL THINGS POSSIBLE.  Even things like helping me overcome my self defeating thoughts and internal dialogue.  I am blessed beyond measure and need to focus on that and not setbacks. 

Hope you are having a wonderful week.  If you are interested in the current message series that I have been talking about, please leave a comment or message me.  I will get you the links for our church website.  Changing our thoughts is difficult, NOT impossible.

Take one small step and focus on a way to be kind to yourself at least once a day this week.  These little steps add up.