Okay, okay I’ve been away for a while…AGAIN By: Steph

Here I am again apologizing for not being around much this summer. I have mentioned I run a daycare and summer break is a chaotic, crazy, fun and busy time for me. However, I won’t use that as the excuse for not being around. I’m still struggling. I am doing much better with my eating. I am still not weighing until my 40th birthday at the end of August but, can tell my renewed dedication to logging my food and making exercise a priority has paid off. Clothes that were getting snug or flat out didn’t fit, are fitting fine again and I’m thrilled with that!

I am officially a bit over a year out from surgery now and I will not even pretend it’s been an easy year. Gastric Sleeve surgery isn’t a cure all and it isn’t a magical fairy dust that they sprinkled over me while I was under. It’s a tool and like any tool, if you aren’t putting the work behind it, it just sorta lays there doing nothing. I learned that when I got well….stupid…the first half of this year. So for my fellow “sleevers”, take care of yourselves, physically and mentally. Don’t become lazy, and don’t think just because, you had wls you will lose all your weight and keep it off. I know that MOST of us know this but, there are those cute guys and gals who think this will be the “miracle” they’ve waited for their whole life. You only get out of it what you put into it!

My husband and I are getting ready to head off on vacation to the coast next weekend. It’s been a year since we had a vacation together and I’m excited about it. We are in a much better place as a couple than we were at this time last year. It was just a difficult time as we were adjusting from the previous year of job worries, and in the midst of the year of trials and huge health decisions. ANYWAY…I digress…the point here is that I was thinking of that last vacation and the fact that I had lost a significant amount of weight before it and that I was fresh from surgery when we took off. That made me dig out a picture of the adventure. I will admit it is a crappy picture due to the fact that I was still incredibly ANTI camera at that time. Again…moving on…I became obsessed by that picture and decided that I needed a picture of myself in that outfit so I wore what I could on Friday and tried to get the same pose down and had Joe take a picture. I will say the pants were 4 full sizes too big (so I chose not to wear them lol) for me and the shirt is baggy (can’t tell in the pic really because of quality) but, it has also been taken in about 3 inches on each side of the waist. I can see some differences and others are hard for me to see. I am disappointed there isn’t a bigger change but, honestly it’s just a picture and you can’t see that the shirt was so tight I was pulling at it all day when I wore it last year. The pants I could barely breath in and I was a self conscious wreck in that outfit the whole day because, I thought all my rolls were hanging out all over the place…and that was after a 70 some pre-surgery loss. On Friday I was self conscious because the shirt was baggy even taken in 6 inches and I felt like I was falling out of it. The pants were a size I never thought I’d be and I wasn’t uncomfortable taking the picture after 126 pound total loss. All in all I declare it a success 🙂
Comparison

I am emotionally in a better place than I was last post. I still struggle with some things but, all in all life is good and I’m blessed with a wonderful family. Lately the thing that has been on my mind the most is that I would be getting ready to deliver the baby we lost, this month. I’ve been having dreams about babies and pregnancy. I know it wasn’t God’s Will for us but, I can’t help but, wish things were different. Between this being on my mind and just day to day life with daycare, home, kids, and husband, I am learning to take my desire to eat in another direction. I have been hitting the home gym. Even this afternoon after church when I was livid with someone and had to cool off, the exercise equipment is where I headed to pray it out, NOT the kitchen! That is a huge accomplishment for me.

I have noticed something that makes me really smile huge. This past year my middle child Ebby, has become MY girl. She has been a Daddy’s girl her whole life from the moment she was born. Something changed in the past several months and whatever it is I’m grateful for the time with her. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still her Daddy’s girl and will probably totally go that direction again in a short while as we begin to butt heads over “girl” drama but, I am loving this time with her.Ebby I am not sure what that has to do with a weight loss blog but, you are all used to me going off in odd directions 😛

I am not the only one with stuff to share but, since the other stuff isn’t MINE to share…hint, hint, hint, Clint, Clint, Clint…I will let that rest until he decides to come back out and play on the blog! Let’s just say he’s incredibly amazing and accomplished something big at the end of July!

Hugs to you all and thanks for reading even though I’ve been totally flakey all summer.

~Steph

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